Post-initiation, we become more ourselves. Our container becomes larger, but sometimes we fill it with the same old things. This is why one is advised to get oneself together beforehand. It’s better to clear up complexes and establish good habits while we can, because everything changes after the baby comes.
Since my daughter’s birth, everything feels heightened. My joy is more joyful, my pain more painful. I learn each day that I run deeper than I knew. I can act more cranky or more kind; I can feel more happy or more sad; I can hold more monkey-mind or more spaciousness. I have each moment in which to choose. I don’t always make the ideal choice, but I do the best I can.
I must remain present in this moment because it is all I have. It’s gone in a second and I have only the feeling it leaves behind.